A Couple of Things

HEYYYYY!! So I just wanted to give a general explanation of a couple of things, and a bit of an update on life.

First of all I know this blog really had no direction and I am pretty sure I have very few active readers and its mostly people who just stumble here and that's okay with me. But I do want to have a direction for this blog and I know exactly what I want to do, I just don't feel ready to have a direction. One post that I want to have is an explanation of the name of this blog (Being Me, Loving Me...Well Kinda) There is an actual meaning behind it, and it wasn't just a random name I can up with. Another post I want to do is a post about Autism. Autism directly effects me and my family and I want to have a couple of post about Autism in general and a couple post in my opinion of Autism. Tagging along with the post about the title of this blog I would like to do some posts about body image, and after I explain the name of my blog I think this will make perfect sense. Some other posts I want to make are my general thoughts on things, wither it be about my life or things in society, or just general rants. I also want to make posts about things I like to do, some book reviews, recipes, crochet patterns, soccer. And of course the general posts about high school. I do have an idea of a direction I want to go with this blog, I'm just not ready to start on the direction yet.

Second of all if you do read this blog and like it, let me know!! I have absolutely no idea what my audience is like except for a couple of small facts that Blogger gives me, soo if you read let me know!! I know of exactly one person who actively reads my blog, and a big shout out to her for reading it!! Thanks Sarah! If anyone else is reading well let me know and I will give you a shoutout as well!! Also if you are reading this post and have read others and like what you read, don't be afraid to tell your friends!! I would love more readers and be able to communicate with others!! But please, if you are pedophile, leave me alone:) haha yea I have a bad sense of humor, but my friends think I'm funny:)

And that brings us to the end of this post, I have been doing absolutely nothing with my life lately, other then watching some youtubers, my current favorite is Shane Dawson, I've linked it to is main Youtube channel if you wanna check him out. **Note he has a specific sense of humor and some may find it offensive, or otherwise inappropriate** Any ways that's kinda everything I wanted to tell all you wonderful people out there in Blogger Land. SOOOOO have a beautiful day, or night, or evening, or...you know what just have a beautiful life!! :D

Happy Fourth

Happy Fourth of July to everyone who reads this!! I know its kinda late on the 4th but I haven't gotten around to being on the computer. Where I live the fireworks are tomorrow so its kind of weird not having them today, but of course that doesn't stop people from setting off their own!! haha I've been scared more than once tonight by the fireworks when I was least expecting them!! We lit up a couple of sparklers tonight and cracked open some glowsticks:)

Of course the 4th is much more than just the fireworks and the glowsticks, its more than the partys and parades, its the day celebrating our independence and freedom. Today celebrates the day we became true Americans, separate from our British rule. We would not have a day such as today if people had not fought hard for their independence, if people didn't give up their lives, we today would not be free. People are still giving their lives to keep us free and to help other country's and nations achieve their independence. Today is truly a special day and I think a lot of people are forgetting the true meaning of today.  Its not about the partys, its not about the fireworks, its about out independence as Americans and the people that gave, and are still giving, their lives for our freedom. I would like to thank EVERYONE in the armed forces, whatever branch of the military, no matter how long you were in the service, for the sacrifices they have made to keep us a free and independent country. Today is truly a special day, and I hope we can keep the meaning of today true.

I hope everyone day a fun and safe fourth and continues to have a fun and safe independence weekend. I hope you enjoyed your fireworks and parades and cookouts, I know I had. Have a safe and wonderful time!!

STUFFFFFFFFFF

Happy July 1st!! It is exactly one month until my birthday!! YAY!! Tomorrow is my last day of behind the wheel!! YAY!! I finally scheduled my road test!! YAY!! Its summer!! YAY!! Nothing else is going on in my life!! Seriously guys I'm bored and  I have no idea what to do. That's why I haven't really been blogging. I should really start writing down blog ideas..... I will start doing that eventually. Lately I've just been lazy, which is fine with me. I've been super tired for no reason lately. I should really just get together with some friends and hang out but I just haven't wanted to do anything really, besides eat. haha not good. But anyway this is just kind of a random blog post because I haven't been on  in a while. Ya knowwww. yeaaaa. Well that's about all I guess. Yup that's it. haha Au revoir mes amis!!!

Little Bit of Pop Culture

Okay, so I generally don't care about pop culture or whatever. I keep kind of up to date and I love music and listening to new music but I generally don't feel the need to voice my opinions about them with the world but this must be shared. I cannot handle what I just saw. I literally am not sure what I just saw.
Miley Cyrus recently released the music video for her single We Can't Stop. The single itself I like and enjoy listening to, but the video. The video is simply something else. The music video is something my brain can't even comprehend. So many things happened in it and the video is just interesting. No offense to Miley like you go girl, be different! But this video, I don't even know what to say about it. In it she is twerking, grinding, everything. She is making out with an oversized Barbie. She has giant bears. I don't even know! A girl cuts off fake fingers. There is this freakish computer generated white face, mask looking thing, I'm not even sure, my brain cannot comprehend the music video. And her lip syncing is just a touch off in parts of the video, but that happens in music videos. I'm not sure what I think of her anymore, I just, I'm so confused. I mean no hate to Miley but I'm completely grounded, she is so different from what I knew her to be.....
I like the song, it seems like a chill beat,something you can dance to. It's upbeat and fun. But the music video is simply so random. You can check it out on YouTube, it's on her Vivo channel, I'd link it but I'm on an iPad and I'd just screw something up.

Another song I have some issues with is Why I'm Single by Alli Simpson, Cody Simpsons little sister. Now don't get me wrong, I'm a fan of Cody, Alli seems really nice and everything but for some reason I don't like her all that much, I feel like its because just looking at her makes me feel bad about myself, haha. But again I like the song, it's a chill beat, something fun to dance to. It's upbeat and fun. The music video isn't crazy. The music video doesn't have much to do with the song though. It's basically her wearing different outfits and dancing around. And talking on a pink corded phone, which I really like. But one line I have an issue with is 'I show them my scars'. Personally when I hear this in a song I think of physical scars, if you understand what I'm saying. She means more along the lines of emotional scars, which are as important but I wish she would use a different line for this.  I know, it's something so trivial. Over all I like this song though, I keep listening to it and am starting to really like it. You can check this song out on Alli's YouTube channel SoAlli.

Overall I like both of these songs!! Please understand that. Sorry for the ranting. I just had to get that out. I couldn't handle it.  I so like both of the songs. This will probably be the only time I post about this kind of stuff. Have a good night!!

Summer

ITS SUMMER! I am almost at a full week of summer! Last Friday was the last day of school for my Sophomore year! o.O Its so crazy to think that I just have two more years until I'm off on my own.

On Tuesday I started my behind the wheel portion of my Drivers Ed. I have a mix of simulation and actual behind the wheel. Yesterday (Wednesday) my my first day of actually driving with an instructor. I have driven before, I have about 15 hours of driving in, but this was the first time not with my parents. Now we don't get to drive our parents car so I had to get used to a whole different car, one that was nicer then my parents car. I get to drive a Pontiac G6. It was such a pain to figure out, the brake and gas pedal are so touchy!! But the instructor said I did good and I got a B+ for yesterday, which is generally what people get. I was a little afraid of dying though because the person also in my group hasn't driven to much and well, sometimes it was a little scary :p

I have had a pretty decent beginning to summer. I have hung out with my friends and I also have soccer so I haven't been to alone this summer. Also with drivers ed I don't get to sleep until noon which is good. I really wanna start some projects but I am just to lazy, but I do have a lot of summer left and I plan on doing some cool things this summer. So I think I am okay yet to just sit around for a while.

I am on the job hunt, I have applied for some fast food restaurants but haven't got a call yet. *sigh* Hopefully I will get one, I really need some money!!

I think I need to start having a regular post that isn't just updates on my life, I will get around to thinking of some regular posts. Most likely, maybe, eventually it will happen.

If any of you are bored I would suggest going and watching some youtubers. Like Kingsley, or Tyler Oakley, or Thatcherjoe, or Zoella, or Alfie, or Marcus Butler, or JacksGap. There are a lot. oh and Casper Lee. Each youtuber is a little different, so I would suggest checking some out and finding ones you like!! If you want to check them out I will link to them!! I really like watching them!! Its something to look forward to every week. Just like watching Switched at Birth, or the Fosters, or other TV shows that I like to watch!!

Anyyy whoooo. Check out some youtubers, let me know who you like!! I'm gonna go now, have a good day!!

Bittersweet

Tomorrow is my last day of school for the year! I am super excited that I have made it through the year and now I only have 2 more years of high school!! But it is also bittersweet. I don't want to leave my friends for the summer. I am going to miss everyone so much!! I know I can easily hang out with them and get together with them but we see each other at school everyday and now we wont see each other as much. *pouty face*.

Tomorrow I just have my French final at 10 then after a couple of my friends and I are going out to lunch then hanging out after lunch.

And then tomorrow night I have to go play with the band and orchestra at graduation. This is also bittersweet because I have to say goodbye to all my senior friends, which believe it or not there are actually a couple. My neighbor is graduating tomorrow and I am going to be super sad. She was one of the people I looked up to growing up and now she's not going to be just next door anymore.

Tomorrow is just simply going to be a bittersweet day. I haven't even said goodbye to all of my friends yet!! I probably won't even see all of them tomorrow!! I made so many this year too and they have all become so important to me!! At least I know I don't have to say goodbye to my best friend, for a while I thought I was going to have to but she's staying with me! yay!! Her and I have so many plans for the summer its unreal, and about 90% of them won't happen what whatever:) I'm just glad she decided not to leave me:) because I would be very, very, very sad.

I better be off to bed!! Good night everyone!!

Be Me?

I wrote this one day in study hall, I didn't have any homework to do and I had a lot on my mind, so I figured I'd share it because I kind of like it. The explains a lot of my thoughts perfectly.

Be Me?
         Everyday of your life you are told to be yourself. You are told that nothing else matter as long as you are being yourself. But how can you be yourself if you have no idea who you are. You have no idea what your identity is, and how are you able to discover yourself if you don't know who you are? How do you find your place in this world? How can you be yourself when every move you make is being watched and judged by others? How can you be yourself when your not allowed to be you? We are always told to sit up, dress in nice cloths, keep quiet, be mature, act your age, but yet we are told to be ourselves? How can we be ourselves when we are constantly told what we should and shouldn't do? We are told this is how you should look, it is how you should do your hair, you should eat this and wear that. How do you be yourself when your identity is lost, even to you? How can you be yourself when you cant even do the things you want? Or act as you please? or dress the way you want to? How can you be yourself when you can't even make decisions for yourself?
         There comes a time when you just have to stand up and defend yourself. When you stand up as say No! this is what I want, this is my belief, this is me. There comes a time when enough is enough and you break that wall and finally stop listening to others and the bullshit and finally know who you really are. Not who you friends tell you to be, not who your family tells you to be, not who society tells you to be, but you are finally who you are, you are yourself. You finally can tell yourself this is me.